As we begin Loneliness Awareness Week, it got me thinking that loneliness isn’t always what you think it is…..
Loneliness is often associated with physical isolation or older age, but the truth is more complex and more widespread. In fact, the loneliest age group in the UK is 16–24 year olds and according to a 2023 survey by Nextdoor and the Marmalade Trust, 85% of UK adults experienced loneliness in the past year, with 44% describing it as chronic.
This may come as a surprise, but perhaps this is indicative of just how good we’ve become at hiding it, even from ourselves.
Loneliness isn’t simply about being alone, it’s about feeling disconnected, the gap between the relationships we have and the ones we long for. A sense of being unseen, unsupported, or not quite belonging, even when we’re in a room full of people.
Like many aspects of life, everyone experiences it differently and that’s part of what makes it so isolating. At its core, loneliness is a natural, prewired biological signal that we need more social connection.
It can show up in subtle ways; feeling out of place in a team, working remotely without meaningful interaction, comparing yourself on social media or feeling emotionally isolated, even with friends or family. Let’s also acknowledge that is can also affect people who seem outwardly confident, sociable or successful.
There are different types of loneliness and understanding them can help us better recognise what we’re experiencing. Emotional loneliness arises when someone you were deeply connected to, like a partner or close friend, is no longer present in your life. Social loneliness is the feeling of lacking a broader support network, such as friends, neighbours, or colleagues. Transient loneliness is temporary and may come and go, while situational loneliness tends to surface during specific times or events, like weekends, holidays, or Christmas. Then there’s chronic loneliness, which is more persistent, a deep sense of disconnection that’s felt most or all of the time. Each type is valid, and each reflects a human need for meaningful connection and belonging.
The impact of loneliness goes far beyond emotion. It can affect our entire nervous system, increasing stress levels, making us more sensitive to rejection, sapping motivation, and leaving us fatigued or apathetic.
For some, the roots of loneliness run deep. It might come from living far from a supportive network or from people who share your identity. It can stem from experiences of stigma, discrimination, or past trauma that make it harder to trust or connect. Financial struggles may limit the ability to take part in social life, while caregiving responsibilities can leave someone feeling unseen, even when surrounded by others. These experiences don’t reflect personal failings, they simply reflect an unmet, human need for connection.
So what remedial action can we take? I believe reconnection doesn’t have to be loud or performative, it can start with quiet, intentional moments. It might mean checking in with yourself through journaling, rest, or simply taking a few mindful walk. It could be reaching out to someone for a genuine, unhurried chat. Sometimes it’s about finding spaces that feel nourishing and non-judgmental, where you’re free to show up just as you are. Often, it’s rediscovering creativity for the sake of joy, rather than productivity or performance. These small, meaningful acts can gently guide us back toward connection with ourselves and with others.
Remember you are not alone, even in the moments you feel it most. It’s important to acknowledge it and not feel embarrassed, much like when our body tells us we are hungry and that we need to eat or drink, loneliness is a sign we need to pay attention to our social connection. Reach out and talk to someone, whether that be a friend, work colleague, or family member, loneliness can’t always be noticed outwardly so it’s important to share how you’re feeling. Make a commitment to yourself that you will take daily action to building up your community, helping to restore your sense of belonging.
If you are someone who is feeling the weight of loneliness and need someone to talk to, just reach out. Resources you might like to consider are:
Mind – 0300 102 1234 – Mon-Fri 9:00 – 18:00
Samaritans – 116 123 – 24hrs
Marmalade Trust – www.marmaladetrust.org
“The best of community does give one a deep sense of belonging and wellbeing; and in that sense community takes away loneliness” — Henri J.M. Nouwen
